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These pages contain various filk songs relating to the work of Lois McMaster Bujold.
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Banned by Alys
(AKA Koudelkas Carry on)
by Patricia Mathews to the tune for "Banned from Argo"
I went to the Midwinter Ball, long skirt, high heels, and all
And now we're banned by Alys, every one
I went to the Vorpatril Ball, in high society
Now I've been banned from parties, I've been clued
One wedding is in summer and the other one in fall
For she's been banned from our house, yes, she is
I never thought I'd be this bored at my first formal ball
Until I met Enrique, and his mind works just like me
We ducked into the biolab and talked philosophy
Banned by Alys for not having any fun
We went to the Midwinter Ball for just four hours or five
And lucky we got out of there alive!
And tried to talk to the Vor Lords, who chattered aimlessly
They didn't care for thinking, they just notice how I look
I got a larger evening purse - and brought along a book!
Banned by Alys, for she thinks I'm very rude
But there are men on Komarr who think I was pretty smart
And one of them has won away my heart!
The Barrayarans wonder that we ever wed at all!
But we know what we like in men, moreover - they like us!
So why are folks like Alys putting up a royal fuss?
Banned from our house 'cause she flew into a tizz
We'll welcome her with open arms the day she gives a ball
With science lectures, books and nerds and all
One Lone Soldier - Duv Galeni's Song
by Caroline Wong can be sung to One Tin Soldier
Listen people to a story
His aunt died in The Massacre
So go ahead and hate Barrayarans
In a plot to destroy Barrayar
David studied history
He did not want to kill Barrayarans
But his friends thought him a leper
In the end, his dad's plan failed
Chorus: Pick One
But he survived and survives still
Still life's paradoxes haunt him
Chorus:
'Bout a loyal son of Komarr
Who knew he served his planet best
By serving it's conqueror, Barrayar.
His father swore her revenge
Spent his lifetime plotting mayhem
To be rid of Barrayar's stench
Go ahead and cheat them blind
Do it in the name of Komarr
You can justify it in your mind
There'll be hell to pay for next morning
Welcome judgement day
But once the blood and tears have dried,
One lone soldier leads the way
His mad father grew a clone
While his young son David
Grew up fatherless, alone.
Changed his name to Galeni
Joined the enemy's forces
A hopeful Vor wannabe.
He did not hate them blindly
He had it analysed clearly
Though his dad won't take it kindly
There's a new kind of future he sees
Welcome brand new day
One without shed blood and tears
One lone soldier leads the way.
Outcast! Unclean! Vile Traitor!
He just wanted to serve Komarr
The shiny boots came later.
Shot by his own clone's quick draw
Now ImpSec gives it six to one odds
The clone'll be his next brother in law.
Though his temper is, um, quick
He went from feeling the sharp end
To wielding Impsec's long stick.
This is just a sample of one
His best friend on Barrayar is...
The Butcher of Komarr's son
If you miss the ship I'm on
Got a fleet behind my back
Lord, I'm one, Lord, I'm two,
Please, don't miss the train I'm on
you will know that I am gone
you can hear Galeni swear:
"A hundred Miles!"
A hundred Miles, a hundred Miles,
a hundred Miles, a hundred Miles,
Lord, Lieutenant, Admiral: a hundred Miles.
and a Vor preceeds my name
and I can't get Quinn home
this way
This a-way, this a-way, this a-way, this a-way,
and I can't get Quinn home this way.
Lord, I'm three, Lord, I'm Vor.
Lord, I'm five whormhole jumps away from home.
Away from home, away from home,
away from home, away from home.
Lord, I'm five whormhole jumps away from home.
and the next is "number one"
so just take me how I am, 500 Miles
500 Miles, 500 Miles, 500 Miles, 500 Miles:
Lord, the Emperors Voice, Auditor Miles.
500 Miles - Take 2
by Stella Lindblom
If you want a little guy
There are one, there are two, there are three, there are four
from the Vorkosigan Estate
you can get your very own copy of Miles.
On Jackson's Whole we have by now cloned much more than a hundred Miles
so come to us and get yourself your private Miles.
lord there's 500 Miles away from home
500 Miles, 500 Miles, 500 Miles, 500 Miles,
Lord there's 500 Miles away from home
I'm Going to Set Them Free (Mark's Song)
by Jim Parish to the tune of "Takin' It to the Streets", by the Doobie Brothers
You don't know me, but I'm your brother
They don't know I'm not my brother
Now you tell me that you're my mother
He doesn't know I'm not my brother
I was raised by a Komarran cell
They don't know my kind on your world
But very soon, they'll know me well
You
Telling me the things that you can do for me
I don't think that you can even save yourself
I'm going to set them free (the people of Komarr)
I'm going to set them free
At my command they'll risk their very lives
We will steal those kids from Jackson
And save them from the surgeon's knives
I've
worked out all the things that they can do for me
I can rescue people just as well as you
I'm going to set them free (all of the clone-born kids)
I'm going to set them free
I need a second chance to save my soul
I can bring him home from Jackson
Pull him from that pirates' hole
You
Tell me all the things you'd like to do for me
Just this one thing, before we can be a family
I'm going to set him free (my older brother Miles)
I'm going to set him free
And he's put me through this living hell
He doesn't know about the Other
He never will, if things go well
He's
Telling me the things he wants to do to me
Very soon I'll show him what he's dealing with
I'm going to set us free (me and the Black Gang too)
I'm going to set us free (no more need for running)
I'm going to set us free (then we can all go home)
I'm going to set us free
The Naismith Song
by Jim Parish to the tune of "The Hedgehog Song",
or at least to some tune...
You can beat Ges Vorrutyer --- take his monster in hand;
To top Captain Auson is scarcely a trick;
Oser surrenders, if your charisma's good,
The ghem-lords are harder --- just take Millisor,
Ser Galen's a plotter, wishing Barrayar ill,
To top Bharaputra, don't take out any loans;
General Haroche can be quite a snake;
Prince Serg's not so easy, but his death was well-planned.
Count Vordarian? Simple. A swordstick --- he'll fall,
But a Naismith can never be vanquished at all!
A pair of Botharis will do it right quick.
Ky Tung can be conquered; give Arde a call.
But a Naismith can never be vanquished at all!
And Metzov can't think quite as fast as he should.
Cavilo's distracted by a story that's tall,
But a Naismith can never be vanquished at all!
But Jackson's collectors will lighten the chore.
Helta's misdeeds will bring on quite a fall,
But a Naismith can never be vanquished at all!
But a brand-new twin brother can settle the bill.
Sell Tabor the goods, after Captain Duv's brawl;
A Naismith can never be vanquished at all!
Seduce his pet monster, run off with his clones.
It takes an assassin to stop Ryoval,
But a Naismith can never be vanquished at all!
A filter's the thing, to catch out the fake.
And Soudha will listen, when his toy takes a fall,
But a Naismith can never be vanquished at all!
The Planet Barrayar (General Yenaro's Lament)
by Jim Parish to the tune of "The House of the Rising Sun"
There is a planet back of beyond ---
We thought it would be easy ---
The landing, it went quickly ---
But the only thing a Vor lord needs
He fought us in the forests,
Dear Lady, tell the Emperor
I'm waiting for the shuttle;
There is a planet back of beyond ---
They call it Barrayar ---
And it's been the ruin of many a ghem-lord,
And now I know I'm one.
They're just barbarians ---
We paid Komarr their foolish price
And jumped to Barrayar.
Their Emperor fled his throne ---
Their cities fell, and we were sure
We'd make this world our own.
Is a dagger and a mount,
And the worst of all the Vor lords was
The young Vorkosigan Count.
He drove us to the plain;
We smashed his city, and still he fought,
I swear that man's insane.
To end this losing war.
We can't defeat the Vor lords on
Their planet Barrayar.
I've said my last goodbye.
I'm going back to Eta Ceta ---
I'm going home to die.
They call it Barrayar ---
And it's been the ruin of many a ghem-lord,
And now I know I'm one.
Song of the Wormhole Wildcatter
by Michelle Schilz to "Don't Fence Me In" by Cole Porter
Give me wormholes,
Chorus:
Let me undock,
Chorus:
With planets and stars that no one's seen,
Fly me to there.
Nice and stable,
With good water and resources to glean,
Fly me to there.
I want to fly to the place where 3-D collapses.
Watch funny colors 'till I blow synapses.
Dancing in 5-D while the time elapses.
Fly me to there.
Let me snuggle in my cockpit while I leave the Nexus lights.
Strap me on in,
Let me leave behind the people and all assorted blights.
I want to fly to the place where 3-D collapses.
Watch funny colors 'till I blow synapses.
Dancing in 5-D while the time elapses.
Fly me to there.
Fly me to there.
The Sap of The Maple
by Bill Gawne a trad Dendarii marching song
(D) (G)
We come from the mountains, the hills, and the glens,
(Chorus)
In springtime the maple sap rises again
(Chorus)
We'll march for a night and then fight for a day
(Chorus)
Oh, the sap of the maple is rising again
(A7) (D)
As down from the hills come the Dendarii men
(D) (G)
To answer the call of Vorkosigan
(A7) (D)
The sap of the maple is rising again!
Where strong, tough and tall grow the maples and men.
If fighting is called for we'll be there and then
We're Barrayar's finest, the Dendarii men.
We gather it up and we cook it down then
We make Maple Mead for to keep us warm when
The cold winter winds blow the snow once again.
We don't give a damn for some flashy parade
As long as we've freedom to live our own way
We'll stand in the line for the Emperor's pay.
Webpage created by Michael Bernardi
All filks © 1999 the original authors.
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Last updated: June 8th 2002