More Bujold Filk - Part 6

These pages contain various filk songs relating to the work of Lois McMaster Bujold.

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Ekaterin
by Patricia (Pat) Mathews
Ttto: "I'm called Little Buttercup" (trad.)

They call me Ekaterin,
Poor, brave Ekaterin,
Which I most roundly deny.
For I'm just Ekaterin
Simply Ekaterin
Married Ekaterin, I.

A bureaucrat's housewife,
Obedient mousewife,
I put down my name on my word
To dress myself neatly
Behave most discreetly
No scandal of me has been heard

For I am Ekaterin
Loyal Ekaterin
Though I've been wondering why
They call me Ekaterin
Hard-pressed Ekaterin
Married Ekaterin, I.

I've balcony flowers
For long, lonely hours
A son and a husband to rear
I've packed and unpacked
Hauled my stuff on my back,
For - we've moved fifteen times in one year!

They call me Ekaterin
Housewife Ekaterin
Now living under this dome
I'm honest Ekaterin
Faithful Ekaterin
Maybe next year We'll be home!

The Dendarii Hillbillies
by Patricia (Pat) Mathews
Ttto: "The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song"

Come and listen to my story 'bout a mutie kid
Built so strange his family kept him hid
Until one day he got a wild idee
And asked them to send him to the Space Academy

---military, that is. Swords. Uniforms. Riding boots.

Now the next thing you know he's got himself a fleet
Got no action underneath the sheet
Until he met a gal who was eight feet tall
Rat breath, claws, and werewolf teeth and all.

---Strange. REAL strange. Meant to be a super-soldier. Hate to meet their Drill Instructors!

The little mutie Adm'ral was on his own
Till back on Earth he met himself a clone
Tried to kill him and take his place
And didn't understand he's Security's disgrace.

--Risk, that is. Ruins his superiors. Reads top-secret files.
Cuts off couriers at the knees. Bad, BAD soldier! No promotion!

So now they're together, a family at last
The mutie and the clone, and what is past, is past,
till one dark day when he wrote a false report
Too late to think up a snappy retort.

--Lies, that is. Sex, lies, videotapes, money, power, and --- elephants? How did they get in here?

Security wanted to throw at him the book
Until he found the biggest in-house crook
So now he outranks all the lesser Vor
They made him (God help us) the youngest Auditor

So now he's running at a merry pace
The biggest loose cannon ever know in space
The Wormhole Nexus will never be the same
With Miles, Mark, and Ivan now in the game.

--Game of thrones, that is. Check. Mate in two moves - Oh. That's the NEXT book!

Lord Midnight
by Patricia (Pat) Mathews
Ttto: "Mister Ed" by Ray Evans and Jay Livingston

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And no one can talk to a horse of course
That is, of course, unless the horse is Midnight, the count's heir

Go right to the source and ask the horse
He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse.
He's always on a steady course.
Talk to Midnight, the count's heir

People yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day
But Lord Midnight will never speak unless he has something to say.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And this one'll talk 'til his voice is hoarse.
You never heard of a talking horse?

Well listen to this.

I am Lord Midnight.

That good old maple mead
by Patricia (Pat) Mathews
Ttto: That good old mountain dew

My uncle Bill has a still on the hill
Where he brews up a man's drink indeed
If you hush up yore mugg he will fill up yore jug
With some good ole maple mead

They call it, they call it that good ole maple mead, maple mead
A rough hillman's drink indeed
If you come back for more you'll be down on the floor
In that good ole maple mead

Our overlord was so skinny and short
The gardener thought he's a weed
But he feels like a giant when he gets him a pint
Of that good ole maple mead!

Down in the city where the lads they's so pretty
Them lords caint drink maple mead straight
So they got them some bugs
Put the juice in their jugs
Froze it up for Vor Lord bait

Shopping
by Ailsa N.T. Murphy
Ttto: "March on Cambreath"

Shattered glass, a thrown grenade
So dissolves the life we made
Dreams in silver and in brown
With the glass upon the ground
A flyer singed in a sneak attack
Nothing now will bring them back
I may hide, but I will not run
Damn you all, don't touch my son!

To the hills with horse and hound
See that Gregor is not found
With the hillmen, hide him well
See what those in the city tell
{The ward has fallen, the doctor dies
No one knows if my son's alive}
I may hide, but I will not run
Damn you all, don't touch my son!

And if I must go to ground,
Who to bring but my faithful hound?
From a swordstick raised on high
Shall we see how the cruel may die?
Hide our leaving in the fire
From the princess' funeral pyre
Now to Aral, left alone
Successful shopping, going home.
With the glazed look in their eyes
See as all resistance dies
The hiding's over, I did not run
I have your head, and I have my son!

Gregor's Wedding
by Paul Ciszek
Ttto: "Mairi's Wedding", trad.
(all named characters © Lois McMaster Bujold)

Marching smartly two by two
All dressed up in red and blue
Horses, swords, and spacecraft too
All for Gregor's wedding.
Around the planet, prole and Vor
Have never had such fun before
At least not since the last big war
Thank you, General Alys!

Plenty blessings, plenty boons
Three big worlds with lots of moons
Plenty legal heirs REAL SOON!
That's our toast for Gregor.
Vorpatrils and Vorkosigans
Can breathe a sigh, the battle's won
The throne will pass to Gregor's son
Nothing stops this wedding!

Miles thinks, like any Vor
That all is fair in Love and War
But she knows what's worth fighting for:
Honor, Truth, and Nikki.
Koudelka's daughters, how they've grown
Now have suitors of their own,
Transgendered Count, ImpSec and Clone.
[sarcastically] Thank you, Aunt Cordelia.

Marching smartly two by two
All dressed up in red and blue
Horses, swords, and spacecraft too
All for Gregor's wedding.

There's a hole in the mirror, dear Laisa, dear Laisa
There's a hole in the mirror, dear Laisa, a hole.

Then mend it, dear Gregor, dear Gregor, dear Gregor
Then mend it, dear Gregor, dear Gregor mend it.

I'll send Miles to do that, dear Laisa, dear Laisa
I'll send Miles to do that, dear Laisa, send Miles.

[The tune stays the same, but the repetition stops, and the tempo increases gradually]

It's not just the mirror, according to Miles,
there's a terrorist plot on our wedding as well.

Dr. Soudha is building a new secret weapon
that employs five-space math I don't follow at all.

There's perpetual motion and treason and murder
and a pretty young widow who--

[Laisa cuts him off, return to original tempo]

Did you have to send Miles, dear Gregor, dear Gregor
Did you have to send Miles, dear Gregor, why him?

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Last updated: June 8th 2002
Originally Uploaded: December 9th 2001